Noir

Overall

This week had three "what if" episodes (Heroes, Smallville, and Supernatural). And, unfortunately, Smallville's was the only one in which there wasn't really a point to it all. Nobody emerged from the alternate reality significantly changed, spiritually shaken, or more mature. Or even having been given something to ponder. And nobody had to take dramatic steps or make important choices to get out of the alternate reality. Instead, Smallville took the meaningless route. Jimmy got conked on the head, dreamed a garbled, random dream with bits and pieces of reality, and suddenly woke up. Definitely the worst "what if" of the week.

The first problem was the intentional corniness of the dream-sequence. I'm not sure why the writers would decide that half the episode should be cheesy, when we're so close to the finale. The writers should have been using every minute they had to engage the viewers, instead of choosing this week to parody "Citizen Kane" and facilitate intentional bad acting. (Although, I confess, I laughed out loud when Alternate-Lex died whispering, "Gardenia.") And, when you think about it - Chloe and Clark having an upbeat exchange while Jimmy is upstairs fighting for his life, Chloe and Jimmy goofily kissing for the camera - real life was just as corny as alternate reality.

The second problem was the nature of the dream sequence. Since it was a random dream from being conked on the noggin, the events portrayed didn't indicate any deep-seated issues or ominous foreshadowing. Yes, it was interesting that Alternate-Chloe was decidedly attracted to Alternate-Clark, and was just Alternate-Jimmy's very supportive friend. And it was interesting that Alternate-Lex died because someone thought he was more evil than he really was, mistook his intentions, and too-quickly overreacted. And it was very interesting that it was Alternate-Chloe, not Alternate-Lois, who was working with Alternate-Clark at the Daily Planet. But if you read into all these events, you'll have to conclude that Lois and Lex have a romance in their future, and that Jimmy Olsen will abandon a career in photography in favor of reporting. Ultimately, trying to find significance in any of the dream sequence is pointless.

The third problem was the abundance of gimmicks. Clark Kent in glasses was fun: Jimmy Olsen repeatedly expressing his shock at Clark leading a double life was not. The obligatory appearance by Chloe's Yaris was not too blatant a product placement: Jimmy plugging his MP3 player into the Yaris to demonstrate its wonderful features was far too blatant. A number of gimmicks felt very heavy-handed this week.

The fourth problem was the anticlimactic revelations. Last week in "Nemesis," all the information came to the surface through life-changing confrontations. (Lana confronting Lionel twice, Lex confronting Clark about the chisel, Clark confronting Lex about Lana's wedding day, Lex confronting Lana about that wedding day.) This week, all the revelations were very, very underplayed. Lana tells Chloe to stay out of it, and incidentally shares just about everything with her. Chloe tells Clark to leave it alone, then happens to casually spill just enough information to set Clark on the right track. Not only does this yet again make Chloe the obligatory middle-man who keeps Clark informed of what she learns from Lana (this was exactly the problem with last season's finale), but it's nowhere near as climactic as that huge revelation should have been.

I usually try not to evaluate Smallville in terms of other shows. But this week's many "what if" episodes, combined with the many problems of "Noir," made it inevitable that this episode disappointed.

Verdict: 3.2

Good/Bad Moments

1. It's been a long time since an episode has opened with a pair of giggly sweethearts, and that's a good thing. Somehow this intellectually numb scene made it feel like the gang had returned to high school - probably during their Season Four stage.
2. "I figured you could use an escape from your real-life soap opera." Lines like these, comparing characters' lives to soap operas, are never wise. They acknowledge that events on the show are improbable and dramatized, which 1) draws the viewer's attention to any soapiness, and 2) makes the writers look unapologetic about said soapiness.
3. "You've got your billionaire mogul, you've got the confused damsel who chose money over love, and a mysterious best friend who shows up everywhere because he can't seem to get a real job. Not to mention the steadfast dame they all depend on." See Moments b.
4. Nice touch that their first instinct, on hearing the gunshot, is to check the movie screen. That was a very real reaction.
5. "That wasn't from the - " "Movie." The moment would have been much stronger without these lines. Somehow, verbally pointing out their first reaction in Moments d stole some of the realism - and the idea of Jimmy stopping and Chloe finishing his sentence just didn't work here.
6. Very old-fashioned music as Jimmy chased the fleeing suspect. It wasn't so out-of-place that it distracted, but on a second viewing it highlighted the throwback theme this week. Nice job by Mark Snow.
7. Chloe hears a gunshot, then runs up to find an unknown body in an elevator. Given the circumstances, her worried "Jimmy?" and her expression as she gazed at the body seemed very underplayed. She should have been extremely alarmed and upset, not just concerned.
8. I know that we were supposed to be excited at a glimpse of Lois Lane wearing a press badge and a fairly old-fashioned suit at the Daily Planet with her hair in bangs, but as soon as I saw the bangs I thought of Season Four, and her whole scene soured.
9. Clark and Chloe have a quick deductive exchange, finishing each others' thoughts and playing off each others' lines, as easily as if they've been doing it for years - which they have. Jimmy stands in the background, forgotten, and watches. Although it makes little difference to me (at this point) whether Clark and Chloe ever get together or not, I enjoyed the unconscious intimacy and familiarity of this moment.
10. "The police are running prints on the gun." "Which the mugger thoughtfully left behind," Jimmy adds. We know that there was a gun found at the scene, since police were checking it for fingerprints. Jimmy's contribution was completely unnecessary, and made it clear why Clark and Chloe were ignoring him.
11. Jimmy watches in the background as Clark interrupts his conversation with Chloe and proceeds to dab earnestly at her blouse with his handkerchief. I wasn't sure if this moment was supposed to reflect Jimmy's feelings of rejection from the previous scene being carried into his dream-life, or if this was just supposed to be another coincidental random fantasy.
12. "Um, Clark Kent. With a K, Kent. I'm Clark Kent." Delightful performance by Tom Welling. Suddenly I could completely see him as the Clark Kent, with all this bumbling as an act to disguise his true identity. The problem is that Smallville differs from Superman in that, in Smallville, Clark Kent is the real identity and Superman is the facade. But, as I've said before, and will say again repeatedly: you can't/don't have to read into it. This isn't foreshadowing, it's the jumbled product of a concussion.
13. "I didn't peg you as the kind of guy with a secret identity." This Superman reference was too much.
14. Lois appears as a nightclub singer, proving that even in fantasy, Lois is in Smallville purely for display.
15. Despite that, I always enjoy it when the powers that be find a believable way to showcase an actor's real ability. I'd rather see Erica Durance really singing, if unsteadily, than Lex and Lucy pretending to play classical music with moves/strategic camerawork that anyone with any knowledge of music can see through.
16. Jimmy pulls out his camera and takes a picture. There is a huge flash and a loud snap, and Lois and Lex turn and stare at him. I cracked up laughing at that. This was a clever way to play around with the time difference.
17. Lex's car flips over, and he promptly staggers out, looking a little startled. Nice moment, poking good-natured fun at unbelievable 1940s escapes...although given Smallville's history of logical leaps when it comes to physical trauma, I wondered at first whether it was intentional or not.
18. "Gardenia." Every single time I watch this, I get caught up in the pathos of Lex's unnecessary death - and then crack up laughing at that line. Somehow it keeps taking me by surprise. Michael Rosenbaum plays it perfectly. Hysterical.
19. "Listen, Boy Wonder may have taken the bait..." Nice Superman reference. This wasn't too farfetched. Unless you consider the fact that, in this semi-reality, Superman and associated terms like "boy wonder" weren't common terms, in which case you wonder where a 40s character would pull the term "boy wonder" from.
20. Clark pulls out the Superman diamond-shaped badge. This isn't the first time Smallville has used the Superman diamond-shaped badge, so this gets points for a nice reference and good continuity (assuming that Jimmy has seen these Superman diamond-shaped badges, so as to incorporate them into his dream).
21. Clark mercilessly has Jimmy hauled away. Reflection of Jimmy's perception of Clark as someone who has his own mysterious agenda and who is constantly interfering with Jimmy's desire to woo Chloe...or the only way the writers could give the dream some closure so Jimmy could wake up?
22. "Uh, Jimmy, remember me, the one outside your head?" Initially, this almost seemed like Chloe was subtlely breaking the fourth wall. On a second viewing, this moment remained ambiguous. I hope this wasn't intended to be a sideways reference to the audience. It would be in keeping with the soap opera comments earlier, but it would just be too much.
23. When Jimmy sees that the cigarette case is missing, he actually says, "Aha! The cigarette case is missing!" I know that Jimmy's whole role this episode was supposed to be a movie geek role, but if the writers were going to go through with that whole dream sequence, they needed to balance it with some degree of realism in the real world.
24. Jimmy picks the lock, then looks at Chloe proudly. I have a hard time seeing how Chloe would enjoy this relationship - how she would admire a boyfriend who, instead of pulling doors off their hinges and casually breezing on, picks a lock that Chloe herself could have picked and looks at her proudly for validation. She's used to a much higher level of criminal activity, secrecy, and ability. Granted, there is a lot of "caretaker" in Chloe. But then, she has to take care of Clark frequently, and both Clark's dilemmas and Clark's rescues are far more dramatic. Her relationship with Jimmy seems like her relationship with Clark, just extremely downsized. It's unfortunate that Jimmy's last episode still failed to explain this relationship.
25. After they enter Brennan's office, Chloe explains that according to the building's exit records, Brennan was the only person on this floor when Lana was shot. One would think that she would tell Jimmy this before urging him to break into Brennan's office. Bad expositional moment.
26. "You didn't have to wait until the last second, you know." "What fun would that be?" Presumably, Jimmy is still upstairs fighting with a killer who has a gun. They tease each other and smile. What are they thinking?
27. Nevertheless, the Superman horns in the background, combined with Clark smiling at Chloe while holding her in his arms, made me wish for the thousandth time that Chloe was Lois Lane.
28. Chloe kisses Jimmy, then embraces him, looking at Clark over his shoulder. Clark, standing in the shadows, seemed to look plaintive. At least, that was my interpretation. There was a sadness in his face, and the music that played was melancholy, before she smiled and he smiled back. (However, since Clark frequently looks sad for no apparent reason, and the music does not necessarily indicate the mood any more, this could be a complete mis-reading on my part.)
29. "I doubt they would think twice about silencing you." Lionel walks out, ominously, and such beautifully Superman-ish music plays that we try to pretend that this scene was emotionally resonant, even epic. But take out the music, and this mini-cliffhanger came across as very Season Four-ish. A revelation, out-of-the-blue, completely unconnected to the events and characters that you really care about.
30. "Now, I know that Lex would never do anything to hurt the love of his life..." "We both know he'd never do anything to hurt her." At last Chloe and Clark show some good sense, although this directly conflicts with Moments ao in "Progeny". I'm inclined to dock points from "Progeny" rather than "Noir," however.
31. "...he needs to know." "Chloe, I know that you confide everything in him, but I need you to trust me. Clark's life could depend on it." Lana clearly tells Chloe not to tell Clark that she's been protecting him. Chloe then tells Clark to stay out of Lana's business, saying, "Clark, how long have you kept your secret from Lana because you were trying to protect her?" Even if we're all surprised that Clark catches on so quickly, this still was strangely injudicious of Chloe the secret-keeper.
32. "You know how much Lana means to me!" Clark is storming around, raising his voice, finally grabbing Chloe's arms. Despite the beautiful lighting in the basement, I couldn't stand this scene. Clark is bullying Chloe because Lana means so much to him?
33. "You can't tell me all that just came from a bonk on the noggin." I'm with Chloe.
34. "Clark Kent leading a double life as a reporter by day and a crime fighter by night...you know, it's funny what your mind will cook up." That was definitely too blatant. I wish Smallville would return to less overt, more tasteful Superman references.

Details

1. How is it that in the highly-staffed, busy day-and-night Daily Planet building, Chloe consistently manages to end up virtually alone? Yes, Senator Burke is visiting, but would that really leave only one person on duty? Unfortunately, Jimmy's exit from Smallville seemed almost as contrived as his entrance.
2. The combined facts that the firm security guard walked away from an insistent Lois, that Lois managed to fling her bag into the crime scene without anyone noticing, and that nobody then hurried over to help clear her belongings out of the way of an important crime scene, made this whole byplay unbelievable.
3. "I'm sorry, Lana. Sorry I got you caught up in all this." So what we know of Lionel's convoluted plan - getting Lana to marry Lex so that she could help take him down - is already turning out worse than Lionel had planned. He's wishing he'd never plotted this whole strange scheme. If his concern for Lana can make him wish he could take it all back...then why didn't his concern for Lana intervene when he sadistically manipulated her into marrying in the first place? The only answer is the yet unknown Clark Connection. A lot of this season's credibility is hinged on the Clark Connection now.
4. "Well, the police aren't saying much...but maybe you'll have better luck." In the background, the colors in the window seem to form an "S". Nice touch.
5. "...you'll be picking lead out of your lungs." "Not unless you want this to be the next headline." Jimmy pulls out the photograph, in the pouring rain. First, if Lex shot Jimmy then and there, then took the photograph, how would that ensure that the photograph would be the next headline? Were we supposed to assume that Lana had the other copy and was keeping it for Jimmy's safety? If so, then why would Jimmy and Lana stake Jimmy's life on a photograph that she was keeping...when they thought that Lex might kill her any time? Second, what photographer calmly holds up a photograph in the pouring rain?
6. "I'm sorry I had to drag you into all this, James. I really am." This was strangely similar to Lionel's "I'm sorry, Lana. Sorry I got you caught up in all this." Was this supposed to indicate that Jimmy actually overheard part of Lionel's conversation, and incorporated it into his dream? If so, one would think that he would have mentioned that ominous conversation to Chloe. It's more likely that the writers were enjoying the new laxity the genre permitted this week, and employed the same melodramatic terms twice, just for the heck of it.
7. Not long after the building was swarming with reporters and police, the shooter a) returns to the building where he shot Lana, or b) is still hiding out at the building where he shot Lana. Not only that, but he murders a reporter, then takes off running...and suddenly, the building is strangely empty again. Of all that crowd, with such a recent security breach, with a crime scene in the hallway, nobody remains.
8. Clark and Chloe are smiling at each other. Jimmy comes running down, shouting, "Chloe!" Chloe fell at least six floors, which means that Jimmy just ran down about six flights of steps. That would have taken some time. Chloe is lying on the couch. That means that either 1) this was shown in real time, and Jimmy zoomed down those stairs at superhuman speed and Clark quickly deposited Chloe on the couch and rushed away, or 2) time elapsed off-camera, during which Chloe sat on the couch waiting for Jimmy to run down six flights of stairs. Either explanation is farfetched.
9. "You open this?" "There was nothing on it." Lionel, reasonably doubting her word, plugs it into Chloe's computer and checks. Lois has obviously seen the video before. We see that she had the foresight to stop at some unknown computer and check the card's contents before she reached the Talon...but she didn't have the foresight to hide the card somewhere other than in the cigarette case, which she left in her bag. Where did she stop, and if it was a secure location, then why didn't she take the opportunity to make a duplicate of the card and/or hide it some place less obvious?